It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
