just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
