Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize