I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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