she sounds like chewbacca in bed
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
