He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I can't turn off my feet"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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