About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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