He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
