THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
