Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
did i just pee glitter
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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