i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
and she was petting her beer can
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Found the puke drawer
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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