You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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