Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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