It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
