Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
