I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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