TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
