one word: firstdatebathroomanal
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
