i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I would fuck him just for his dog
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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