got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
