WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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