do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Randomize
