Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize