is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize
