and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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