I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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