you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Randomize
