im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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