We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
