The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
