Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
