I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
