i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
