Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
