She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
