I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I think my moral compass just broke
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