I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
