A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
