When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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