In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
