I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
