Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
