Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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