went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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