I hate all girls vehemently.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
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