Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
