I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I pour the whiskey from now on
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
