I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
pop tarts are not kleenex
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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