question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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