If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
