but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
