Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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